Communication is a constantly evolving piece of society. Just look at how far we've come in the last few decades. From written correspondence and phone conversations to social media and texting. These changes certainly make communication more convenient. But does that also mean that it's as effective?
Communication style and means will continue to evolve, but one thing will always remain the same: personal, face to face conversation is the highest form of communication, and is what gets the best and most rewarding results. With all the new and upcoming ways to "check in", chat and communicate without ever uttering a word out loud, the art form of face to face communication is slowly getting pushed to the background. Yet, this type of communication, if harnessed, practiced and perfected, will always yield the best results. We are still in a relationship based society, and face to face communication automatically puts you in the higher category of those you interact with on a daily basis. Why? Because it's becoming more and more rare to actually take the time to sit down with someone in person. When someone takes the time to actually meet in person and focus on and show genuine interest in them, it can almost come as a shock. By the way, talking to them while constantly checking your phone does not count as personal, one on one communication. If you are distracted, you might as well not even be there. But focused, personal time with someone can build the relationships, whether business or personal, that last and create mutual benefit.
Don't take this the wrong way. I'm not saying there is no place for social media, texting or the like. I certainly use these tools on a regular basis. But they're just that; they're tools. They're not meant as a replacement for personal communication. The point is that you can't let those things replace personal contact and building relationships the "old fashioned" way. As technology becomes even more ingrained in our culture, "face time" will become even more important. If you master the art of personal communication, it will be increasingly easier to set yourself apart from everyone else. In my opinion, taking this personal approach as it becomes more and more "obsolete" in the eyes of the tech world is actually the greatest opportunity of our day and of the upcoming years ahead of us. No matter what other new forms of communication keep coming out, embrace the personal, in-person approach and you will be embracing the key to unlock greater potential in your business, your personal relationships and your own personal fulfillment.
-BJN
"The problem with communication is the illusion that is has occurred." -George Bernard Shaw
Using Fear as Motivation
Fear. We all experience it. When something new, unknown or unexpected comes into our lives, often times we have a sense of fear involved. Our mind goes through all kinds of "what if" scenarios, most of which don't have even the slightest possibility of coming to pass. But that doesn't seem to keep us from sometimes letting those thoughts get the best of us, preventing us from moving forward. The key to overcoming this is to put fear in a new perspective.
First, take a step back and look at what the fear is. Is it the fear of failure, or the fear of rejection? Maybe it's the fear of not knowing what next steps to take once you take that first big one to get the ball rolling. Whatever it is, ask yourself this: If I don't try, even though I'm afraid, will I regret not having given it a shot? Ah, the fear of regret. It can certainly be a great motivating tool. I'm not saying it should be your only source of motivation; not by any means. However, if you find yourself frozen and unable to move forward, stop and picture a couple things. First picture yourself having moved forward, and having succeeded in doing so. What have you accomplished by moving forward with success? What goals are you closer to now? What does your life look like having taken that step in spite of the fear that may have stopped you? Now picture what it would look like if you didn't move forward on it. What would your life look like this time? Here's the big question: Looking back, will you regret not having at least tried?
I come back to Theodore Roosevelt's quote a lot, but it's so applicable to this that I need to bring it up again. Roosevelt said, "The credit belongs to the man who's actually in the arena...who at worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be among cold timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat". Those are some powerful words. If you never take risk, sure you'll never know defeat; but you'll also never know victory. Worst of all, you could find yourself at the end of your life, never knowing what you could have done, or what kind of an impact you could have made. You'll only know what you could have tried but didn't, and wonder what your life would have been if only you had. Don't let yourself get to the end of your life, with the haunting question running through your mind - "what if I had...". Instead, step out, move forward, face your fears, and one day you can look back and say "I did".
--"We must all suffer one of two things: The pain of discipline or the pain of regret or disappointment." -Jim Rohn--
First, take a step back and look at what the fear is. Is it the fear of failure, or the fear of rejection? Maybe it's the fear of not knowing what next steps to take once you take that first big one to get the ball rolling. Whatever it is, ask yourself this: If I don't try, even though I'm afraid, will I regret not having given it a shot? Ah, the fear of regret. It can certainly be a great motivating tool. I'm not saying it should be your only source of motivation; not by any means. However, if you find yourself frozen and unable to move forward, stop and picture a couple things. First picture yourself having moved forward, and having succeeded in doing so. What have you accomplished by moving forward with success? What goals are you closer to now? What does your life look like having taken that step in spite of the fear that may have stopped you? Now picture what it would look like if you didn't move forward on it. What would your life look like this time? Here's the big question: Looking back, will you regret not having at least tried?
I come back to Theodore Roosevelt's quote a lot, but it's so applicable to this that I need to bring it up again. Roosevelt said, "The credit belongs to the man who's actually in the arena...who at worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be among cold timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat". Those are some powerful words. If you never take risk, sure you'll never know defeat; but you'll also never know victory. Worst of all, you could find yourself at the end of your life, never knowing what you could have done, or what kind of an impact you could have made. You'll only know what you could have tried but didn't, and wonder what your life would have been if only you had. Don't let yourself get to the end of your life, with the haunting question running through your mind - "what if I had...". Instead, step out, move forward, face your fears, and one day you can look back and say "I did".
--"We must all suffer one of two things: The pain of discipline or the pain of regret or disappointment." -Jim Rohn--
How to Create Positive Change in Your Life
From my own experience and my observation of others, I've discovered a few different things about what steps are necessary to move from being in a place you don't want to be in your life to pursuing and achieving exactly what you want.
The first and most important thing you need to do is to know what you want. It doesn't do any good to chase a dream if you discover at the end that it wasn't even your dream! Make sure your goals are yours and not someone else's, and not what you think they should be, but what you want. Too many people don't know what they want, so they spend their lives chasing one thing after another, thinking each new thing will be the one that makes them happy. I'm not sure what is worse - not making the effort to chase anything, or chasing something your whole life only to discover it's not what you wanted! Take the time to sit down and really think out what it is that you want out of life. Go through each area of your life and write out what you want it to look like. You must know exactly what it is you want out of each of those areas. Only then can you take the steps to achieve the results you truly want.
Often times if you feel low or depressed, it is because you are not doing what you know you should be doing. I've discovered this in myself in the past. I've also heard comments from others around me about their lives, and the root of it is based on this. They know they should be taking action on something, but they're not. They know they have the capability to do better, to do more with their lives, but they're not. When you know you should be doing better or doing more to pursue what you want, when you know you are not meeting what you are capable of, you beat yourself up mentally over it. The solution is simply to start taking action on those things. It may be something small or simple at first, such as making a phone call you've been avoiding, or it could be starting your business plan. Whatever it is, it just needs to be something that is taking you in the direction that you know you should be working harder to get to. It doesn't have to be huge, it just needs to be action. Stop putting it off. And trust me, when you start taking these small steps you will feel relief, as well as start building your confidence and sense of worth. Once that happens, the next steps are easier and it creates momentum toward your goals.
The last part of the equation is consistency. Writing out what you want and then taking the first step is great, and will start you on the right path, but the right path can't take you to its destination if you are not taking additional steps. This is not an escalator, this is a stairway. You don't get to take one step and sit back and think you will keep making progress. You have to keep taking action. Consistent action is necessary to keep things moving, or you will find yourself right back at the previous step; knowing you should and can be doing more. Don't let that happen! Once the ball gets rolling it's easier to keep it rolling. But when it stops, it's hard to get it started again. Don't let it stop; keep taking steps every day that help you get closer to the life you want. You deserve that life, and don't let anyone tell you any different.
I encourage you to take these steps seriously and go through them one by one. I promise you it will change your direction and change your life. Keep your goals, what you want your life to look like, in front of you on a daily basis. Remind yourself what you are pressing towards. Know what you want, take action on those things, and do it consistently and you will discover abundance.
The first and most important thing you need to do is to know what you want. It doesn't do any good to chase a dream if you discover at the end that it wasn't even your dream! Make sure your goals are yours and not someone else's, and not what you think they should be, but what you want. Too many people don't know what they want, so they spend their lives chasing one thing after another, thinking each new thing will be the one that makes them happy. I'm not sure what is worse - not making the effort to chase anything, or chasing something your whole life only to discover it's not what you wanted! Take the time to sit down and really think out what it is that you want out of life. Go through each area of your life and write out what you want it to look like. You must know exactly what it is you want out of each of those areas. Only then can you take the steps to achieve the results you truly want.
Often times if you feel low or depressed, it is because you are not doing what you know you should be doing. I've discovered this in myself in the past. I've also heard comments from others around me about their lives, and the root of it is based on this. They know they should be taking action on something, but they're not. They know they have the capability to do better, to do more with their lives, but they're not. When you know you should be doing better or doing more to pursue what you want, when you know you are not meeting what you are capable of, you beat yourself up mentally over it. The solution is simply to start taking action on those things. It may be something small or simple at first, such as making a phone call you've been avoiding, or it could be starting your business plan. Whatever it is, it just needs to be something that is taking you in the direction that you know you should be working harder to get to. It doesn't have to be huge, it just needs to be action. Stop putting it off. And trust me, when you start taking these small steps you will feel relief, as well as start building your confidence and sense of worth. Once that happens, the next steps are easier and it creates momentum toward your goals.
The last part of the equation is consistency. Writing out what you want and then taking the first step is great, and will start you on the right path, but the right path can't take you to its destination if you are not taking additional steps. This is not an escalator, this is a stairway. You don't get to take one step and sit back and think you will keep making progress. You have to keep taking action. Consistent action is necessary to keep things moving, or you will find yourself right back at the previous step; knowing you should and can be doing more. Don't let that happen! Once the ball gets rolling it's easier to keep it rolling. But when it stops, it's hard to get it started again. Don't let it stop; keep taking steps every day that help you get closer to the life you want. You deserve that life, and don't let anyone tell you any different.
I encourage you to take these steps seriously and go through them one by one. I promise you it will change your direction and change your life. Keep your goals, what you want your life to look like, in front of you on a daily basis. Remind yourself what you are pressing towards. Know what you want, take action on those things, and do it consistently and you will discover abundance.
Failure - The Key to Success
Let me give you a quick lesson on failure. If you are afraid of failure, that's all you will get. If you view failure as a negative thing, you will never succeed. If you think failure is the end of the line when things go wrong, well, you'll be right...for you. Failure is not an option. It is part of the process of becoming successful.
Every successful person you see has failed over and over and over again. The problem is, the part that is usually publicised are the successes. The failures, or the majority of them anyway, usually come in the building stages, before there is major attention on them. Once they hit the public scene they seem to be an "overnight" success, when typically they've had years of hard work, struggle and failure that led up to that.
Failure is not a negative thing unless you let it be that. Failure is how we "learn on the job". It's how we become better at what we do. The critical part is that when we do fail, we stop and reflect on it. Why did the failure happen? What will you do in the future to make sure it doesn't happen again? How are you going to let this be a positive thing and make you a better person and better at your business? Failure can actually be used as a springboard instead of putting you in a slump. The key is to have the right perspective on failure, and to view it as this tool for learning and growing instead of something to avoid at all costs.
And oh, by the way...if you're not failing, you're not trying hard enough. If you find yourself trying to rack your brain for the last time you failed, you need to get out there and fail more! If you're not failing your not putting yourself out there enough.
I hope this can put a fresh perspective on failure and help you view it in a healthy way. Don't avoid failure. Use it as a learning process and a springboard to better things. I'll end with this video of Michael Jordan, one of the greatest, if not the greatest basketball player of all time. Let's take a look at one of the most successful sports figures in the world and see what his take is on success and failure.
Every successful person you see has failed over and over and over again. The problem is, the part that is usually publicised are the successes. The failures, or the majority of them anyway, usually come in the building stages, before there is major attention on them. Once they hit the public scene they seem to be an "overnight" success, when typically they've had years of hard work, struggle and failure that led up to that.
Failure is not a negative thing unless you let it be that. Failure is how we "learn on the job". It's how we become better at what we do. The critical part is that when we do fail, we stop and reflect on it. Why did the failure happen? What will you do in the future to make sure it doesn't happen again? How are you going to let this be a positive thing and make you a better person and better at your business? Failure can actually be used as a springboard instead of putting you in a slump. The key is to have the right perspective on failure, and to view it as this tool for learning and growing instead of something to avoid at all costs.
And oh, by the way...if you're not failing, you're not trying hard enough. If you find yourself trying to rack your brain for the last time you failed, you need to get out there and fail more! If you're not failing your not putting yourself out there enough.
I hope this can put a fresh perspective on failure and help you view it in a healthy way. Don't avoid failure. Use it as a learning process and a springboard to better things. I'll end with this video of Michael Jordan, one of the greatest, if not the greatest basketball player of all time. Let's take a look at one of the most successful sports figures in the world and see what his take is on success and failure.
Attitude
"Attitude is everything" - so said personal development guru Paul J Meyer. Leadership expert John C. Maxwell disagrees slightly, saying "attitude isn't everything, but it's the main thing". Our attitude is the thing that is in our control that can have the most impact on our results. And you want to know the best part? We get to choose our attitude! Our attitude isn't passed along from our previous generations. It's not a product of our circumstances - though many use circumstances as an excuse for a poor attitude. It's not chosen for us by our boss or by those around us. Your attitude is yours to choose! You get to decide if you have a positive attitude or a negative one.
Now, just because we get to choose our attitude doesn't mean it's always a simple thing to do. Some people have a naturally positive attitude, but for some it takes deliberate focus and work to change their thought process and become more of a positive thinker and have a better attitude. It's easy to let your thoughts wander to a negative mindset, or let doubt or fear creep in. But developing a positive attitude can be done, even in those that have a naturally negative outlook. Start by being aware of your thoughts. When you find yourself thinking negatively or having a poor attitude, stop yourself and deliberately change your thoughts to positive ones. It may seemed canned and forced at first (because it probably is), but do it anyway. If you do it enough, eventually your positive thoughts will naturally take over and the negative thoughts will creep in less and less. Don't give control to your negative thoughts!
Also, I said those around you don't choose your attitude for you, which is true. However, the people you put yourself around do have an affect on you, either to the positive or the negative. They do not choose for you, but they certainly can make it easier or more difficult to have a positive attitude. Surround yourself with positive people, and you are much more likely to have a positive attitude yourself. But surround yourself with negative people who complain and make excuses, and guess what? It will rub off on you as well. You become like those that you spend the most time with, so make sure you are spending your time with the right people.
If you have a naturally positive attitude, that's great! Keep it up and try to be an example for others, and try to rub off that attitude on others to help them develop that same kind of attitude. But if you struggle with keeping yourself positive, take the steps above to help you create the change you are looking for. Be aware of your thoughts, and be deliberate about changing them to positive ones. Purposefully surround yourself with others that have the attitude that you desire for yourself. It may take work, but the results and the benefits you will reap with your new found positive attitude will be well worth the effort!
Now, just because we get to choose our attitude doesn't mean it's always a simple thing to do. Some people have a naturally positive attitude, but for some it takes deliberate focus and work to change their thought process and become more of a positive thinker and have a better attitude. It's easy to let your thoughts wander to a negative mindset, or let doubt or fear creep in. But developing a positive attitude can be done, even in those that have a naturally negative outlook. Start by being aware of your thoughts. When you find yourself thinking negatively or having a poor attitude, stop yourself and deliberately change your thoughts to positive ones. It may seemed canned and forced at first (because it probably is), but do it anyway. If you do it enough, eventually your positive thoughts will naturally take over and the negative thoughts will creep in less and less. Don't give control to your negative thoughts!
Also, I said those around you don't choose your attitude for you, which is true. However, the people you put yourself around do have an affect on you, either to the positive or the negative. They do not choose for you, but they certainly can make it easier or more difficult to have a positive attitude. Surround yourself with positive people, and you are much more likely to have a positive attitude yourself. But surround yourself with negative people who complain and make excuses, and guess what? It will rub off on you as well. You become like those that you spend the most time with, so make sure you are spending your time with the right people.
If you have a naturally positive attitude, that's great! Keep it up and try to be an example for others, and try to rub off that attitude on others to help them develop that same kind of attitude. But if you struggle with keeping yourself positive, take the steps above to help you create the change you are looking for. Be aware of your thoughts, and be deliberate about changing them to positive ones. Purposefully surround yourself with others that have the attitude that you desire for yourself. It may take work, but the results and the benefits you will reap with your new found positive attitude will be well worth the effort!
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