Failure

Failure. The word brings negative thoughts and feelings to the majority of those who think on it. After all, who wants to fail at something? Who wants to try, to give their effort and their heart, and not succeed? Who wants to look like they don't know what they're doing or take a hit to their self esteem? But, if you're going to achieve anything significant, you need to get past these feelings and shift how you feel about failure.

One of my mentors has a great philosophy he shares of "success upon delivery", meaning that your definition of success should not be rooted in whether or not someone accepts your proposal. The outcome is not a factor in whether you have succeeded or not. The fact that you delivered your message, you did what you showed up to do, is what matters. Why this is so important, especially in a sales or business environment, is because it takes the power away from the person you are making the proposition to and puts it fully in your hands. You can do your best, learn negotiation and sales skills and so forth, but the other person is still ultimately in control of their decision, not you. If success or failure depends on their acceptance or rejection, you're never really in control of whether you succeed or not. Not only that, but with this change in perspective, since winning is just delivering the message and asking the question, you succeed every time you do that. Think about how much of an impact that can make on your outlook and your attitude throughout the day. If all you get all day is "no", you still succeeded because you followed through on your end and you asked the question. If your definition of success is someone saying "yes", you'll be getting beaten down all day long and by the end of the day you'll be feeling completely drained instead of energized and positive.

Failure is also a learning experience. We figure out what doesn't work, and we can change our approach and be better next time. Without failure and the feedback we receive from it, we can't make those necessary adjustments to become better at our craft. Failure is a key component of becoming more successful and learning what to do, and not to do, in the future. The important part is that you need to take the time to reflect on the failure so you can take the lesson from it. Don't dwell on it. But do analyze what happened, figure out how to avoid it in the future, make the adjustment and move on.

Let's face it, if you're not failing at something, you're not trying very hard. You're also not doing anything that stretches your ability. Anything worthwhile is worth doing poorly at first, until you learn from experience; and you can't learn from experience unless you jump in and try it, knowing you'll probably mess up at some point! We're all human and we all make mistakes. You can't live life in fear of failing, or you'll never try anything new.

Challenge your thinking and your relationship with failure. Do you see it as a positive or a negative? If most of your thoughts and feelings are on the negative side, work at shifting to more positive ideas around the word. Remember the "success upon delivery" formula, and that half the battle is just getting out there and taking action. The more you try, the more you fail, and the more you ultimately will succeed. Get out there and fail a bunch, learn, adjust and move forward with confidence.

Act Before Thinking

As I was trying to figure out what topic to blog about today, I came across this title in my "drafts" to remind myself to post about it at some point. I thought it would fit perfect for my post, as I was just listening to a teleseminar talking about "Ready, Fire, Aim", while at the same time listening to a Real Estate Guys radio show where the topic was one of their main mantras - "education for effective action". I took it as a sign that these came up during the same day that it was the perfect time to address this.

We're traditionally taught to be prepared; to get ready, aim and fire, in that order.  It sounds reasonable, right? It seems to make sense that that's the logical order of things. There's a lot to be said in favor of it to be sure. You don't want to go into something with zero knowledge or direction, that's certainly true. However, so many people get stuck in the first two parts of the process. They either never feel like they're "ready" enough, or if they do start to aim, it's without enough clarity to know what they're supposed to be aiming at, or with too much timidity to actually pull the trigger. They sit and wait, and analyze, and before they get to "fire" the opportunity is passed and they have to start all over. Opportunity does not sit and wait with a target on it's back for you to aim until you're fully prepared to pull the trigger.

So what's a more effective approach? The "ready, fire, aim" concept is not new, but it is contrary to what our naturally tendencies and comfort is. We often want to be completely ready to go, and we should be reasonably so, but you will never be fully 100% ready to pull the trigger. If you wait until everything lines up perfectly, until you have all the answers and all the knowledge you need to move forward, you'll be waiting your entire life. We need to be reasonably ready, have a good knowledge base to stand on, and pull the trigger, even if we don't know 100% what the final outcome will be or have every "what if" scenario figured out ahead of time.

One important aspect of this is knowing enough to work backwards off a "worst case scenario". You have to have enough knowledge around what you're doing to create a couple possible outcomes, and figure what your worst case scenario is. If you can live with that, don't go any further in analyzing. Start moving forward, and then figure out the details or exact direction from there. Take real estate entrepreneurship for example. When you come across a potential deal, and you know values, you can work backwards and figure out a couple exit strategies. Is the worst case handing the deal off to another investor for a small wholesale or assignment fee? There could be several other much better options, but if that's the worst case, stop thinking and pull the trigger. Then explore the other options and decide which route is the best. Is the worst case a huge loss, but with the potential for profit? Ok, well then in those instances step back and take a closer look first. That said, some of the great companies out there have had worst case scenarios that were complete failure of the business. The point is, you need to make that decision on what you can live with as a worst case. Even facing a potential catastrophe as a worst case could still mean moving forward, if you know that going into it and are ok if that is the final result.

When you get stuck with thinking you need all the answers before you can do anything, remember that there is no way you can know it all. That's why it's so important to surround yourself with smart people and have a great team around you. The key really is action anyway. Knowledge is not power, applied knowledge is power. Knowledge is only the potential for power. You can have all the knowledge in the world, but without using it and taking action, it's not doing anything for you and is wasted. Don't spend your time working so hard to learn something, to become an expert, and then never use it!

Here are some quick tips to get past being stuck in either the "ready" or "aim" steps:

• Expand your knowledge - But don't let not knowing all the answers stop you.
• Build a great team - Having a great, knowledgeable team helps you feel more confident.
• Step outside your comfort zone - Get used to it, because "ready, fire, aim" isn't always - or usually isn't - comfortable.
• Be clear on what you want - Without clarity on what you want in life, how can you know what to aim at?
• Be bold - Ask questions around and take bold steps towards the things you want.
• Don't over-think it - If you sit and think about all the bad things that could go wrong, of course you'll never want to move forward.
• Remember that failure is part of success - Re-frame your thinking around failure. It's only failure if you let it defeat you. Otherwise it's just part of the process and an opportunity to learn and do better.

 Now go out there and practice. "Ready, Fire!, Aim". Get as much knowledge and make as many preparations as you can up front, then take bold action, and make adjustments as needed.

Facing Setbacks

We've all been there before. Things are looking up, you're making progress and gaining some ground towards your goals, and out of nowhere something changes. Your momentum and the ground you've gained is threatened by an event, a change in circumstances; perhaps something that is even completely outside of your control. Now you've got a choice to make: are you going to let this setback get the best of you, or are you going to get the best of it?

It's a simple decision really. Too many people in our society play the victim. You know what? Even if you are right, and you are the one who got the raw end of the deal, playing the victim and placing blame isn't going to make the situation any better. By doing that, all you do is give the negative side a bigger victory. The best thing you can do is stay positive, learn from whatever the experience is, and move on. Use the setback to fuel you.

Whatever setbacks you may be facing, remember that they temporary and that you can and will get past it, and be better for it. Failure and defeat only get the best of us if we let them. Life is about the experience, and if you're out there living, things are going to happen. You're going to get bumps and bruises along the way. It's these bumps, these challenges, that force us to grow; to become better. A life well lived is a life with both victories and defeats. But where there is defeat there is opportunity. At the very least we can take the experience and what we've learned from it and use it in the future, to make ourselves a better person, a better business owner and a better member of the community.


-BJN

"Opportunity often comes disguised in the form of misfortune, or temporary defeat." Napoleon Hill

Using Fear as Motivation

Fear. We all experience it. When something new, unknown or unexpected comes into our lives, often times we have a sense of fear involved. Our mind goes through all kinds of "what if" scenarios, most of which don't have even the slightest possibility of coming to pass. But that doesn't seem to keep us from sometimes letting those thoughts get the best of us, preventing us from moving forward. The key to overcoming this is to put fear in a new perspective.

First, take a step back and look at what the fear is. Is it the fear of failure, or the fear of rejection? Maybe it's the fear of not knowing what next steps to take once you take that first big one to get the ball rolling. Whatever it is, ask yourself this: If I don't try, even though I'm afraid, will I regret not having given it a shot? Ah, the fear of regret. It can certainly be a great motivating tool. I'm not saying it should be your only source of motivation; not by any means. However, if you find yourself frozen and unable to move forward, stop and picture a couple things. First picture yourself having moved forward, and having succeeded in doing so. What have you accomplished by moving forward with success? What goals are you closer to now? What does your life look like having taken that step in spite of the fear that may have stopped you? Now picture what it would look like if you didn't move forward on it. What would your life look like this time? Here's the big question: Looking back, will you regret not having at least tried?

I come back to Theodore Roosevelt's quote a lot, but it's so applicable to this that I need to bring it up again. Roosevelt said, "The credit belongs to the man who's actually in the arena...who at worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be among cold timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat". Those are some powerful words. If you never take risk, sure you'll never know defeat; but you'll also never know victory. Worst of all, you could find yourself at the end of your life, never knowing what you could have done, or what kind of an impact you could have made. You'll only know what you could have tried but didn't, and wonder what your life would have been if only you had. Don't let yourself get to the end of your life, with the haunting question running through your mind - "what if I had...". Instead, step out, move forward, face your fears, and one day you can look back and say "I did".


--"We must all suffer one of two things: The pain of discipline or the pain of regret or disappointment." -Jim Rohn--

Failure - The Key to Success

Let me give you a quick lesson on failure. If you are afraid of failure, that's all you will get. If you view failure as a negative thing, you will never succeed. If you think failure is the end of the line when things go wrong, well, you'll be right...for you. Failure is not an option. It is part of the process of becoming successful.

Every successful person you see has failed over and over and over again. The problem is, the part that is usually publicised are the successes. The failures, or the majority of them anyway, usually come in the building stages, before there is major attention on them. Once they hit the public scene they seem to be an "overnight" success, when typically they've had years of hard work, struggle and failure that led up to that.

Failure is not a negative thing unless you let it be that. Failure is how we "learn on the job". It's how we become better at what we do. The critical part is that when we do fail, we stop and reflect on it. Why did the failure happen? What will you do in the future to make sure it doesn't happen again? How are you going to let this be a positive thing and make you a better person and better at your business? Failure can actually be used as a springboard instead of putting you in a slump. The key is to have the right perspective on failure, and to view it as this tool for learning and growing instead of something to avoid at all costs.

And oh, by the way...if you're not failing, you're not trying hard enough. If you find yourself trying to rack your brain for the last time you failed, you need to get out there and fail more! If you're not failing your not putting yourself out there enough.

I hope this can put a fresh perspective on failure and help you view it in a healthy way. Don't avoid failure. Use it as a learning process and a springboard to better things. I'll end with this video of Michael Jordan, one of the greatest, if not the greatest basketball player of all time. Let's take a look at one of the most successful sports figures in the world and see what his take is on success and failure.

Trying and Failing is Better Than Not Trying at All

One of the major things that stops most people from ever moving forward on their goals and closer to their dreams is fear. One of the biggest fears is the fear of failure, of not knowing if you can actually accomplish the dreams you set out to achieve. We are afraid of what people will say or think if we don't achieve what we set out to do.

Theodore Roosevelt put it amazingly well:


"It's not the critic who counts; Not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit goes to the one who is actually in the arena; Who strives valiantly; who errs and comes up short again and again; Who knows the great devotions, the great enthusiasms, and spends himself in a worthy cause. Who, at the best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement; and, at the worst, if he fails at least he fails while daring greatly; so that his place will never be among those timid and cold souls who know neither victory or defeat."

Have you faced defeat in your endeavors? If not, I would contend that you are not putting yourself out there nearly enough. Ask any successful person if they experienced defeat or setbacks along their road to success and you will get a 100% "yes" response". In fact, most successful people have experienced far more defeat than those who are not successful. Most get knocked down once or twice and give up. Successful people get knocked down over and over and over, but they keep bouncing back up and keep moving forward.

In the end, what is worse? Failing, or not trying at all? Which is going to leave you with regret? Which is going to have you wishing you would have tried harder or kept going instead of giving up? Which is going to get you to where you want to go? If you never try, or try and give up quickly, you will have regret down the road. Now I'm not saying there is never a time to let something go so you can move on to something else, but we do it far too often, and bounce from one thing to the next in search of something that will get us to our desired result. But most of the time it is not the "vehicle" that is the issue, it is the "driver" (you). Pick your vehicle that you want to use to get where you are going, and stick to it and make it happen. Don't quit. Most importantly, make sure you are at least out there trying. If you fail while trying, you can deal with it. Get up and get going and try again.

Failure is our best teacher. It won't kill you, it will only make you stronger. Even if you fail, at least you know you gave it your all (you did, right?) and you don't have to face the regret of not having tried at all. Even if it doesn't work out as you planned, it is better than looking back and not knowing what you could have done or been but will never know because you didn't try. So get out there and start failing! When you move past your failures, success is waiting for you on the other side.

“If you want to succeed, double your failure rate.”
Thomas J. Watson
Founder, chairman & president of IBM.