Be a Rubber Ball - Bouncing Back After Setbacks

Setbacks and disappointments are guaranteed to happen. It's a part of life, especially if you're pushing yourself and striving for bigger accomplishments. It's inevitable. But it's not the fact that they happen that's important, it's what you do when those situations arise that matters. You can let it stop you in your tracks, or you can be like a rubber ball and bounce back. You need to have some "give", some flexibility, in order to be able to bounce back. Just like the rubber ball gives in when it hits the concrete and prepares itself for the launch back up. And that's exactly what can happen with the right mindset and proper redirection after a setback; you can launch yourself to even greater heights. Here are a few thoughts on bouncing back:

• Get the Lesson - What did you learn from the setback or disappointment? Debrief what went wrong, why and what you can do to avoid a similar mistake in the future. Don't dwell on it. Look back, analyze, adjust and move on.
• Seek Advise - Talk to people in your field or just other people you trust and who's opinion you respect. Ask them for their take on what happened and listen to their words of wisdom.
• Know You're Not Alone - Everyone faces setback. Sometimes just knowing you're not the only one going through it can help you push forward.
• Set Up a Game Plan - Come up with a plan of how you're going to move forward from here. Don't let the setback stop your movement. Come up with a plan to keep going and implement it right away.

We all see the successful side of those who have made it. It's easy to think it came to them without effort and without the hardship and setbacks we face in our businesses. The truth is, those who have succeeded at the highest level are the ones who have failed and faced more setbacks than those who have not. The success is what's highlighted, not the failures, so it's easy to look past that part. As Thomas J. Watson said, "If you want to succeed, double your rate of failure."

Gaining by Eliminating

Ok, I'm taking a page from my mentor's book here, so credit given where it's due this is based on a coaching cd by Greg Pinneo that I recently listened to. S.I.S.E., or "Sh** I Should Eliminate" - what should we remove from our lives to be more effective, to move closer to our goals and grow to live our potential? To live a healthier, more fulfilling life? If you ask people that are very successful, especially those that seem to get more done in a day than seems possible, most of them will tell you that it's not just about what they do that is the key; it's more about what they don't do. Here's few to get you started on thinking about what you should eliminate in your own life. Some are a spin off the cd by Pinneo, and some are my own thoughts.

• Distractions - We are so distracted in our culture today it's ridiculous. Between the ads we see and hear constantly and the constant "ding" of the 30 different alerts set on our phones, we are almost always distracted in some way. It's so bad we even have a phrase to describe it: Continuous Partial Attention. If you're not acutely aware of your own distractedness, it's very easy to get sucked in. It's all around us. When you're in a state of Continuous Partial Attention, you are never truly focused on the task at hand. You not only get less done, but you're never in the moment. You rob yourself of the full experience of so many great things in life if you're never fully present in anything you do.
• Vagueness  - Who wants to live a life where at the end you, or anyone else who was around you, couldn't really say what it was you did? What if they couldn't say what you stood for, what you believed in, or what you set out to accomplish? A vague life is a life without direction. Be clear on who you are, what you stand for, what you will not tolerate in your life, and what you want to accomplish. Know what legacy you want to leave. If the picture of what you want is vague, the results will be as well.
• Negative People - These come in all types, from those who are just "takers" who will never give anything from their end, to those who make you feel less of yourself just from being around them, to those who just have an overall negative attitude, to those who try to shatter your dreams with their own limiting belief of possibility. Here's an easy tip - don't hang around these people. We become like those we hang around. No matter how mentally tough you think you are, if you spend your time around people like this, it will affect your own attitude. Not to mention the fact that many of these types of people are time suckers and will use your time without hesitation or apology - before you know it you've been on the phone with them for 45 minutes, haven't said more than two words on your end, and have just been thrown up on with all of their problems and their negative spin. You know it's true, because it's happened to you before.
• Shallow Conversation - No more "how's the weather?" talk. Let's talk deeper. Let's talk life, philosophy, goals and aspirations. Let's talk life experiences. When we talk deeper, we build deeper relationships, we challenge our own thoughts, and we become better people.
• Worry - Worry has no place in your life. Think about it - has worrying about anything, whatever the outcome, ever helped in a situation? Ever? Of course not. Worrying does nothing but cause stress and make you wonder about things that are either out of your control or will never happen. Worry is a mentally draining, time wasting activity that has absolutely zero chance of having a positive return. If you tend to worry, sit down and make a list of all the things you're worried about. Then go through the list. The things you can do something about, do something about it, and the things you can't do anything about, let it go! We can't control the government, we can't control inflation, we can't control whether we get hit by a bus today or whether we're going to get cancer. Sure, we can do things to stay healthy and we can pay attention when we cross the street. But worrying about something that may or may not happen is worthless and has no place in your life. Control what you can, let go of what you can't. Now go make your list; seriously, right now.
• Apathy - I would go so far as to say this is one of the single biggest problems in our world today. Do not settle for less than what you're capable of. Don't be complacent and stop growing and becoming better. The opposite of apathy is passion. Get involved in whatever you can do with passion and that lights your fire. Then pursue it with everything you've got.
• Exhaustion - Staying up super late and getting up ridiculously early doesn't make you a martyr for your business; it makes you less effective. You're body can't function without proper sleep. You can actually get more done in less time if you're properly rested. Yes, there are times when you need to grind it out and push through, but if you're living every day of your life without enough sleep, you're asking for your body to crash. And it will. Don't burn yourself out.

Remove these things from your life and you will see a huge increase in the quality of your life, and you'll move much more quickly towards those things which you've set out to accomplish. What other things can you eliminate from your life in order to gain? Eliminate them today and start reaping the rewards.

-Comment, let me know your thoughts and what you need to eliminate on twitter - www.twitter.com/invest4cashflow

Facing Setbacks

We've all been there before. Things are looking up, you're making progress and gaining some ground towards your goals, and out of nowhere something changes. Your momentum and the ground you've gained is threatened by an event, a change in circumstances; perhaps something that is even completely outside of your control. Now you've got a choice to make: are you going to let this setback get the best of you, or are you going to get the best of it?

It's a simple decision really. Too many people in our society play the victim. You know what? Even if you are right, and you are the one who got the raw end of the deal, playing the victim and placing blame isn't going to make the situation any better. By doing that, all you do is give the negative side a bigger victory. The best thing you can do is stay positive, learn from whatever the experience is, and move on. Use the setback to fuel you.

Whatever setbacks you may be facing, remember that they temporary and that you can and will get past it, and be better for it. Failure and defeat only get the best of us if we let them. Life is about the experience, and if you're out there living, things are going to happen. You're going to get bumps and bruises along the way. It's these bumps, these challenges, that force us to grow; to become better. A life well lived is a life with both victories and defeats. But where there is defeat there is opportunity. At the very least we can take the experience and what we've learned from it and use it in the future, to make ourselves a better person, a better business owner and a better member of the community.


-BJN

"Opportunity often comes disguised in the form of misfortune, or temporary defeat." Napoleon Hill

Using Fear as Motivation

Fear. We all experience it. When something new, unknown or unexpected comes into our lives, often times we have a sense of fear involved. Our mind goes through all kinds of "what if" scenarios, most of which don't have even the slightest possibility of coming to pass. But that doesn't seem to keep us from sometimes letting those thoughts get the best of us, preventing us from moving forward. The key to overcoming this is to put fear in a new perspective.

First, take a step back and look at what the fear is. Is it the fear of failure, or the fear of rejection? Maybe it's the fear of not knowing what next steps to take once you take that first big one to get the ball rolling. Whatever it is, ask yourself this: If I don't try, even though I'm afraid, will I regret not having given it a shot? Ah, the fear of regret. It can certainly be a great motivating tool. I'm not saying it should be your only source of motivation; not by any means. However, if you find yourself frozen and unable to move forward, stop and picture a couple things. First picture yourself having moved forward, and having succeeded in doing so. What have you accomplished by moving forward with success? What goals are you closer to now? What does your life look like having taken that step in spite of the fear that may have stopped you? Now picture what it would look like if you didn't move forward on it. What would your life look like this time? Here's the big question: Looking back, will you regret not having at least tried?

I come back to Theodore Roosevelt's quote a lot, but it's so applicable to this that I need to bring it up again. Roosevelt said, "The credit belongs to the man who's actually in the arena...who at worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be among cold timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat". Those are some powerful words. If you never take risk, sure you'll never know defeat; but you'll also never know victory. Worst of all, you could find yourself at the end of your life, never knowing what you could have done, or what kind of an impact you could have made. You'll only know what you could have tried but didn't, and wonder what your life would have been if only you had. Don't let yourself get to the end of your life, with the haunting question running through your mind - "what if I had...". Instead, step out, move forward, face your fears, and one day you can look back and say "I did".


--"We must all suffer one of two things: The pain of discipline or the pain of regret or disappointment." -Jim Rohn--