- Get the Lesson - What did you learn from the setback or disappointment? Debrief what went wrong, why and what you can do to avoid a similar mistake in the future. Don't dwell on it. Look back, analyze, adjust and move on.
- Seek Advise - Talk to people in your field or just other people you trust and who's opinion you respect. Ask them for their take on what happened and listen to their words of wisdom.
- Know You're Not Alone - Everyone faces setback. Sometimes just knowing you're not the only one going through it can help you push forward.
- Set Up a Game Plan - Come up with a plan of how you're going to move forward from here. Don't let the setback stop your movement. Come up with a plan to keep going and implement it right away.
Showing posts with label positive thinking. Show all posts
Showing posts with label positive thinking. Show all posts
Be a Rubber Ball - Bouncing Back After Setbacks
Setbacks and disappointments are guaranteed to happen. It's a part of life, especially if you're pushing yourself and striving for bigger accomplishments. It's inevitable. But it's not the fact that they happen that's important, it's what you do when those situations arise that matters. You can let it stop you in your tracks, or you can be like a rubber ball and bounce back. You need to have some "give", some flexibility, in order to be able to bounce back. Just like the rubber ball gives in when it hits the concrete and prepares itself for the launch back up. And that's exactly what can happen with the right mindset and proper redirection after a setback; you can launch yourself to even greater heights. Here are a few thoughts on bouncing back:
Gaining by Eliminating
Ok, I'm taking a page from my mentor's book here, so credit given where it's due this is based on a coaching cd by Greg Pinneo that I recently listened to. S.I.S.E., or "Sh** I Should Eliminate" - what should we remove from our lives to be more effective, to move closer to our goals and grow to live our potential? To live a healthier, more fulfilling life? If you ask people that are very successful, especially those that seem to get more done in a day than seems possible, most of them will tell you that it's not just about what they do that is the key; it's more about what they don't do. Here's few to get you started on thinking about what you should eliminate in your own life. Some are a spin off the cd by Pinneo, and some are my own thoughts.
-Comment, let me know your thoughts and what you need to eliminate on twitter - www.twitter.com/invest4cashflow
- Distractions - We are so distracted in our culture today it's ridiculous. Between the ads we see and hear constantly and the constant "ding" of the 30 different alerts set on our phones, we are almost always distracted in some way. It's so bad we even have a phrase to describe it: Continuous Partial Attention. If you're not acutely aware of your own distractedness, it's very easy to get sucked in. It's all around us. When you're in a state of Continuous Partial Attention, you are never truly focused on the task at hand. You not only get less done, but you're never in the moment. You rob yourself of the full experience of so many great things in life if you're never fully present in anything you do.
- Vagueness - Who wants to live a life where at the end you, or anyone else who was around you, couldn't really say what it was you did? What if they couldn't say what you stood for, what you believed in, or what you set out to accomplish? A vague life is a life without direction. Be clear on who you are, what you stand for, what you will not tolerate in your life, and what you want to accomplish. Know what legacy you want to leave. If the picture of what you want is vague, the results will be as well.
- Negative People - These come in all types, from those who are just "takers" who will never give anything from their end, to those who make you feel less of yourself just from being around them, to those who just have an overall negative attitude, to those who try to shatter your dreams with their own limiting belief of possibility. Here's an easy tip - don't hang around these people. We become like those we hang around. No matter how mentally tough you think you are, if you spend your time around people like this, it will affect your own attitude. Not to mention the fact that many of these types of people are time suckers and will use your time without hesitation or apology - before you know it you've been on the phone with them for 45 minutes, haven't said more than two words on your end, and have just been thrown up on with all of their problems and their negative spin. You know it's true, because it's happened to you before.
- Shallow Conversation - No more "how's the weather?" talk. Let's talk deeper. Let's talk life, philosophy, goals and aspirations. Let's talk life experiences. When we talk deeper, we build deeper relationships, we challenge our own thoughts, and we become better people.
- Worry - Worry has no place in your life. Think about it - has worrying about anything, whatever the outcome, ever helped in a situation? Ever? Of course not. Worrying does nothing but cause stress and make you wonder about things that are either out of your control or will never happen. Worry is a mentally draining, time wasting activity that has absolutely zero chance of having a positive return. If you tend to worry, sit down and make a list of all the things you're worried about. Then go through the list. The things you can do something about, do something about it, and the things you can't do anything about, let it go! We can't control the government, we can't control inflation, we can't control whether we get hit by a bus today or whether we're going to get cancer. Sure, we can do things to stay healthy and we can pay attention when we cross the street. But worrying about something that may or may not happen is worthless and has no place in your life. Control what you can, let go of what you can't. Now go make your list; seriously, right now.
- Apathy - I would go so far as to say this is one of the single biggest problems in our world today. Do not settle for less than what you're capable of. Don't be complacent and stop growing and becoming better. The opposite of apathy is passion. Get involved in whatever you can do with passion and that lights your fire. Then pursue it with everything you've got.
- Exhaustion - Staying up super late and getting up ridiculously early doesn't make you a martyr for your business; it makes you less effective. You're body can't function without proper sleep. You can actually get more done in less time if you're properly rested. Yes, there are times when you need to grind it out and push through, but if you're living every day of your life without enough sleep, you're asking for your body to crash. And it will. Don't burn yourself out.
-Comment, let me know your thoughts and what you need to eliminate on twitter - www.twitter.com/invest4cashflow
How to Create Positive Change in Your Life
From my own experience and my observation of others, I've discovered a few different things about what steps are necessary to move from being in a place you don't want to be in your life to pursuing and achieving exactly what you want.
The first and most important thing you need to do is to know what you want. It doesn't do any good to chase a dream if you discover at the end that it wasn't even your dream! Make sure your goals are yours and not someone else's, and not what you think they should be, but what you want. Too many people don't know what they want, so they spend their lives chasing one thing after another, thinking each new thing will be the one that makes them happy. I'm not sure what is worse - not making the effort to chase anything, or chasing something your whole life only to discover it's not what you wanted! Take the time to sit down and really think out what it is that you want out of life. Go through each area of your life and write out what you want it to look like. You must know exactly what it is you want out of each of those areas. Only then can you take the steps to achieve the results you truly want.
Often times if you feel low or depressed, it is because you are not doing what you know you should be doing. I've discovered this in myself in the past. I've also heard comments from others around me about their lives, and the root of it is based on this. They know they should be taking action on something, but they're not. They know they have the capability to do better, to do more with their lives, but they're not. When you know you should be doing better or doing more to pursue what you want, when you know you are not meeting what you are capable of, you beat yourself up mentally over it. The solution is simply to start taking action on those things. It may be something small or simple at first, such as making a phone call you've been avoiding, or it could be starting your business plan. Whatever it is, it just needs to be something that is taking you in the direction that you know you should be working harder to get to. It doesn't have to be huge, it just needs to be action. Stop putting it off. And trust me, when you start taking these small steps you will feel relief, as well as start building your confidence and sense of worth. Once that happens, the next steps are easier and it creates momentum toward your goals.
The last part of the equation is consistency. Writing out what you want and then taking the first step is great, and will start you on the right path, but the right path can't take you to its destination if you are not taking additional steps. This is not an escalator, this is a stairway. You don't get to take one step and sit back and think you will keep making progress. You have to keep taking action. Consistent action is necessary to keep things moving, or you will find yourself right back at the previous step; knowing you should and can be doing more. Don't let that happen! Once the ball gets rolling it's easier to keep it rolling. But when it stops, it's hard to get it started again. Don't let it stop; keep taking steps every day that help you get closer to the life you want. You deserve that life, and don't let anyone tell you any different.
I encourage you to take these steps seriously and go through them one by one. I promise you it will change your direction and change your life. Keep your goals, what you want your life to look like, in front of you on a daily basis. Remind yourself what you are pressing towards. Know what you want, take action on those things, and do it consistently and you will discover abundance.
The first and most important thing you need to do is to know what you want. It doesn't do any good to chase a dream if you discover at the end that it wasn't even your dream! Make sure your goals are yours and not someone else's, and not what you think they should be, but what you want. Too many people don't know what they want, so they spend their lives chasing one thing after another, thinking each new thing will be the one that makes them happy. I'm not sure what is worse - not making the effort to chase anything, or chasing something your whole life only to discover it's not what you wanted! Take the time to sit down and really think out what it is that you want out of life. Go through each area of your life and write out what you want it to look like. You must know exactly what it is you want out of each of those areas. Only then can you take the steps to achieve the results you truly want.
Often times if you feel low or depressed, it is because you are not doing what you know you should be doing. I've discovered this in myself in the past. I've also heard comments from others around me about their lives, and the root of it is based on this. They know they should be taking action on something, but they're not. They know they have the capability to do better, to do more with their lives, but they're not. When you know you should be doing better or doing more to pursue what you want, when you know you are not meeting what you are capable of, you beat yourself up mentally over it. The solution is simply to start taking action on those things. It may be something small or simple at first, such as making a phone call you've been avoiding, or it could be starting your business plan. Whatever it is, it just needs to be something that is taking you in the direction that you know you should be working harder to get to. It doesn't have to be huge, it just needs to be action. Stop putting it off. And trust me, when you start taking these small steps you will feel relief, as well as start building your confidence and sense of worth. Once that happens, the next steps are easier and it creates momentum toward your goals.
The last part of the equation is consistency. Writing out what you want and then taking the first step is great, and will start you on the right path, but the right path can't take you to its destination if you are not taking additional steps. This is not an escalator, this is a stairway. You don't get to take one step and sit back and think you will keep making progress. You have to keep taking action. Consistent action is necessary to keep things moving, or you will find yourself right back at the previous step; knowing you should and can be doing more. Don't let that happen! Once the ball gets rolling it's easier to keep it rolling. But when it stops, it's hard to get it started again. Don't let it stop; keep taking steps every day that help you get closer to the life you want. You deserve that life, and don't let anyone tell you any different.
I encourage you to take these steps seriously and go through them one by one. I promise you it will change your direction and change your life. Keep your goals, what you want your life to look like, in front of you on a daily basis. Remind yourself what you are pressing towards. Know what you want, take action on those things, and do it consistently and you will discover abundance.
Failure - The Key to Success
Let me give you a quick lesson on failure. If you are afraid of failure, that's all you will get. If you view failure as a negative thing, you will never succeed. If you think failure is the end of the line when things go wrong, well, you'll be right...for you. Failure is not an option. It is part of the process of becoming successful.
Every successful person you see has failed over and over and over again. The problem is, the part that is usually publicised are the successes. The failures, or the majority of them anyway, usually come in the building stages, before there is major attention on them. Once they hit the public scene they seem to be an "overnight" success, when typically they've had years of hard work, struggle and failure that led up to that.
Failure is not a negative thing unless you let it be that. Failure is how we "learn on the job". It's how we become better at what we do. The critical part is that when we do fail, we stop and reflect on it. Why did the failure happen? What will you do in the future to make sure it doesn't happen again? How are you going to let this be a positive thing and make you a better person and better at your business? Failure can actually be used as a springboard instead of putting you in a slump. The key is to have the right perspective on failure, and to view it as this tool for learning and growing instead of something to avoid at all costs.
And oh, by the way...if you're not failing, you're not trying hard enough. If you find yourself trying to rack your brain for the last time you failed, you need to get out there and fail more! If you're not failing your not putting yourself out there enough.
I hope this can put a fresh perspective on failure and help you view it in a healthy way. Don't avoid failure. Use it as a learning process and a springboard to better things. I'll end with this video of Michael Jordan, one of the greatest, if not the greatest basketball player of all time. Let's take a look at one of the most successful sports figures in the world and see what his take is on success and failure.
Every successful person you see has failed over and over and over again. The problem is, the part that is usually publicised are the successes. The failures, or the majority of them anyway, usually come in the building stages, before there is major attention on them. Once they hit the public scene they seem to be an "overnight" success, when typically they've had years of hard work, struggle and failure that led up to that.
Failure is not a negative thing unless you let it be that. Failure is how we "learn on the job". It's how we become better at what we do. The critical part is that when we do fail, we stop and reflect on it. Why did the failure happen? What will you do in the future to make sure it doesn't happen again? How are you going to let this be a positive thing and make you a better person and better at your business? Failure can actually be used as a springboard instead of putting you in a slump. The key is to have the right perspective on failure, and to view it as this tool for learning and growing instead of something to avoid at all costs.
And oh, by the way...if you're not failing, you're not trying hard enough. If you find yourself trying to rack your brain for the last time you failed, you need to get out there and fail more! If you're not failing your not putting yourself out there enough.
I hope this can put a fresh perspective on failure and help you view it in a healthy way. Don't avoid failure. Use it as a learning process and a springboard to better things. I'll end with this video of Michael Jordan, one of the greatest, if not the greatest basketball player of all time. Let's take a look at one of the most successful sports figures in the world and see what his take is on success and failure.
Attitude
"Attitude is everything" - so said personal development guru Paul J Meyer. Leadership expert John C. Maxwell disagrees slightly, saying "attitude isn't everything, but it's the main thing". Our attitude is the thing that is in our control that can have the most impact on our results. And you want to know the best part? We get to choose our attitude! Our attitude isn't passed along from our previous generations. It's not a product of our circumstances - though many use circumstances as an excuse for a poor attitude. It's not chosen for us by our boss or by those around us. Your attitude is yours to choose! You get to decide if you have a positive attitude or a negative one.
Now, just because we get to choose our attitude doesn't mean it's always a simple thing to do. Some people have a naturally positive attitude, but for some it takes deliberate focus and work to change their thought process and become more of a positive thinker and have a better attitude. It's easy to let your thoughts wander to a negative mindset, or let doubt or fear creep in. But developing a positive attitude can be done, even in those that have a naturally negative outlook. Start by being aware of your thoughts. When you find yourself thinking negatively or having a poor attitude, stop yourself and deliberately change your thoughts to positive ones. It may seemed canned and forced at first (because it probably is), but do it anyway. If you do it enough, eventually your positive thoughts will naturally take over and the negative thoughts will creep in less and less. Don't give control to your negative thoughts!
Also, I said those around you don't choose your attitude for you, which is true. However, the people you put yourself around do have an affect on you, either to the positive or the negative. They do not choose for you, but they certainly can make it easier or more difficult to have a positive attitude. Surround yourself with positive people, and you are much more likely to have a positive attitude yourself. But surround yourself with negative people who complain and make excuses, and guess what? It will rub off on you as well. You become like those that you spend the most time with, so make sure you are spending your time with the right people.
If you have a naturally positive attitude, that's great! Keep it up and try to be an example for others, and try to rub off that attitude on others to help them develop that same kind of attitude. But if you struggle with keeping yourself positive, take the steps above to help you create the change you are looking for. Be aware of your thoughts, and be deliberate about changing them to positive ones. Purposefully surround yourself with others that have the attitude that you desire for yourself. It may take work, but the results and the benefits you will reap with your new found positive attitude will be well worth the effort!
Now, just because we get to choose our attitude doesn't mean it's always a simple thing to do. Some people have a naturally positive attitude, but for some it takes deliberate focus and work to change their thought process and become more of a positive thinker and have a better attitude. It's easy to let your thoughts wander to a negative mindset, or let doubt or fear creep in. But developing a positive attitude can be done, even in those that have a naturally negative outlook. Start by being aware of your thoughts. When you find yourself thinking negatively or having a poor attitude, stop yourself and deliberately change your thoughts to positive ones. It may seemed canned and forced at first (because it probably is), but do it anyway. If you do it enough, eventually your positive thoughts will naturally take over and the negative thoughts will creep in less and less. Don't give control to your negative thoughts!
Also, I said those around you don't choose your attitude for you, which is true. However, the people you put yourself around do have an affect on you, either to the positive or the negative. They do not choose for you, but they certainly can make it easier or more difficult to have a positive attitude. Surround yourself with positive people, and you are much more likely to have a positive attitude yourself. But surround yourself with negative people who complain and make excuses, and guess what? It will rub off on you as well. You become like those that you spend the most time with, so make sure you are spending your time with the right people.
If you have a naturally positive attitude, that's great! Keep it up and try to be an example for others, and try to rub off that attitude on others to help them develop that same kind of attitude. But if you struggle with keeping yourself positive, take the steps above to help you create the change you are looking for. Be aware of your thoughts, and be deliberate about changing them to positive ones. Purposefully surround yourself with others that have the attitude that you desire for yourself. It may take work, but the results and the benefits you will reap with your new found positive attitude will be well worth the effort!
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