Failure

Failure. The word brings negative thoughts and feelings to the majority of those who think on it. After all, who wants to fail at something? Who wants to try, to give their effort and their heart, and not succeed? Who wants to look like they don't know what they're doing or take a hit to their self esteem? But, if you're going to achieve anything significant, you need to get past these feelings and shift how you feel about failure.

One of my mentors has a great philosophy he shares of "success upon delivery", meaning that your definition of success should not be rooted in whether or not someone accepts your proposal. The outcome is not a factor in whether you have succeeded or not. The fact that you delivered your message, you did what you showed up to do, is what matters. Why this is so important, especially in a sales or business environment, is because it takes the power away from the person you are making the proposition to and puts it fully in your hands. You can do your best, learn negotiation and sales skills and so forth, but the other person is still ultimately in control of their decision, not you. If success or failure depends on their acceptance or rejection, you're never really in control of whether you succeed or not. Not only that, but with this change in perspective, since winning is just delivering the message and asking the question, you succeed every time you do that. Think about how much of an impact that can make on your outlook and your attitude throughout the day. If all you get all day is "no", you still succeeded because you followed through on your end and you asked the question. If your definition of success is someone saying "yes", you'll be getting beaten down all day long and by the end of the day you'll be feeling completely drained instead of energized and positive.

Failure is also a learning experience. We figure out what doesn't work, and we can change our approach and be better next time. Without failure and the feedback we receive from it, we can't make those necessary adjustments to become better at our craft. Failure is a key component of becoming more successful and learning what to do, and not to do, in the future. The important part is that you need to take the time to reflect on the failure so you can take the lesson from it. Don't dwell on it. But do analyze what happened, figure out how to avoid it in the future, make the adjustment and move on.

Let's face it, if you're not failing at something, you're not trying very hard. You're also not doing anything that stretches your ability. Anything worthwhile is worth doing poorly at first, until you learn from experience; and you can't learn from experience unless you jump in and try it, knowing you'll probably mess up at some point! We're all human and we all make mistakes. You can't live life in fear of failing, or you'll never try anything new.

Challenge your thinking and your relationship with failure. Do you see it as a positive or a negative? If most of your thoughts and feelings are on the negative side, work at shifting to more positive ideas around the word. Remember the "success upon delivery" formula, and that half the battle is just getting out there and taking action. The more you try, the more you fail, and the more you ultimately will succeed. Get out there and fail a bunch, learn, adjust and move forward with confidence.

My Dozen "Must Read" Book List for 2016

Going into 2016, I'm picking a dozen books that are must reads for me this year. I thought I'd share my list in hopes there might be some that would be good reads for you as well, or at least to inspire you to make a list of your own. Reading is imperative if you want to learn and grow, and to become better at your craft, whatever that might be.

Here's my list:

1. "The Richest Man in Babylon" by George S. Clason - A classic that I've read multiple times, but always a great, easy read as a refresher on the basics of building wealth.
2. "What to Do When There's Too Much to Do" by Laura Stack - One of my focuses this year is getting more organized!
3. "The 4-Hour Workweek" by Tim Ferriss - It's been on my list for too long. Getting it done 1st quarter 2016.
4. "Start With Why" by Simon Sinek - If the book is anything close to his TED talk this will be an amazing read.
5. "Awaken the Giant Within" by Anthony Robbins - I've started this book a number of times and it's super interesting, but because of the detail and length I've fizzled out each time. Not this time.
6. "The Compound Effect" by Darren Hardy - Another shorter and easier read, but with great concepts and insight.
7. "Bringing up Boys" by Dr. James Dobson - I've got two of my own, so learning how to be a better dad is always a must!
8. "Losing My Virginity" by Richard Branson - One of the most inspirational entrepreneurs of our time.
9. "Trump: The Art of the Deal" by Donald Trump with Tony Schwartz - Another one I've been meaning to read. How can you not learn something from one of the greatest real estate entrepreneurs?
10. "Purple Cow" by Seth Godin - With multiple businesses, it's important not to get stagnant and to stay focused on standing out by being unique and remarkable.
11. "Brain Rules" by John Medina - I've heard awesome things about this book. Breaking down how our brains work. Learning more about how we're wired will not only show you where you can personally make changes for the better, but will also increase your ability to interact with and understand other people. Since we all work, live and do business with people, it's a "no-brainer".
12. "Delivering Happiness" by Tony Hsieh - When one of the best companies to work for and one of the most successful online stores started by selling shoes, of all things, tells how he did it...you read it. Customers and employees are become more demanding about how a business is run, what their motivation is the work for or buy from them, and what impact they're making. All good things, and with the trend in that thought process, you want to be ahead of the game in running your business in a similar way.

There you go! Take the time to make a list of your dozen "must read" books for the year and make it happen. I hope this list has started you in the right direction, and maybe even a couple of them will end up on your list. I'd love it if you'd share your list with me once you have it down. Make 2016 a year of incredible learning and growth in your life!