Your Response is What Counts

There is often the debate on what has the most effect on how a person ends up. Is it how they were brought up? Is it the events that happen in their lives? Is it the circumstances that surround them? While these factors may have some impact, the thing that has the ability to change your direction regardless of these is your reaction.

Jack Canfield, co-founder of the "Chicken Soup for the Soul" series and author of several best-selling books, has a formula he often teaches called E+R=O. This stands for Event + Response = Outcome. Most people tend to look at the events around them or their circumstances and - whether they realize they are doing it or not - they blame their problems, where they are at, or how they feel on these things. In reality, we need to look at ourselves. How are you responding to the things that come your way?

There are many examples of people that have gone through the same or similar circumstances, where one person may end up at the top of their game and very successful, while the other is down in the dumps. Why is this, if they both experienced the same or similar events? The answer is that the one who ended up being successful responded in a positive, proactive way instead of a negative, blaming one. It's up to you to decide how you are going to response when obstacles that life throws at you come your way. The event in itself is not what determines where you end up; it is the combination of the event and your response to it.

Why is this important? If you look at how you were brought up, or the circumstances that are around you, and use those as excuses as to why you are not achieving what you would like to be, you are giving up control to outside factors you have no influence over. You are letting others control your destiny instead of you controlling it for yourself. But if you take responsibility, if you determine that you are the one that is in control, you shift the power to yourself. Nobody can make you feel angry or said; that's how you're responding to the event. A circumstance can't make you give up or be defeated; that's your response. Change your response, and you change the outcome.

Reflect on how you are responding to the things that are in your life. Are you placing blame elsewhere instead of taking responsibility for your own responses? I encourage you to do this on a regular basis, consistently challenging yourself to change your response wherever it needs an adjustment. I promise you that once you start taking control back in those areas where you have given it up in blame, you will start to see huge positive changes in your outcomes.

Putting Your Action Where Your Mouth Is

You've heard the term "put your money where your mouth is", meaning back up what you say and don't just give out advice that you don't follow yourself, or spew an opinion that you can't or won't stand behind. However, I think there is a key word that needs to be replace in this phrase - money doesn't back up what you say; action does. Let me explain.

With all the training and endeavors I've been a part of up to this point in my life, I've seen plenty of people so called "put their money where their mouth is" by paying huge amounts of money to start a business or to go through educational courses to learn how to make money in various industries. The problem is, they think that paying the money for the education is what will solve their issues and will make them successful. This could not be further from the truth. You could pay a million dollars for education from the best educators and most prominent leaders in whatever industry you'd like to be successful in, but paying the money doesn't do anything for you. It's not paying for the training that gets you anywhere, it's the action that follows it.

So many people think that somehow paying money form something will be what gets them the results, or that it will be easy once they get into whatever program they are starting. Sorry to burst your bubble, but there is no educational program or business system in the world that you pay and then just sit back and watch the money roll in. Success is not easy! It is hard work and takes a dedication to learning whatever endeavor you choose. Success is a process. It will not happen overnight and will not happen without you putting in the effort (and if anyone tells you that it will, RUN FAST). If you want success, if you want to reach your goals, you are going to have to make it happen, and that means taking action, not just paying for a "magic formula". I makes me sad to see so many people thinking they can buy their way into prosperity.

Now I'm not trying to be negative, I'm just trying to be realistic. If you are going to back something up with your money, you have to be prepared to back it up with action. In reality, the action part is what really matters, and is the only part that will get you anywhere. Without action, you are stagnant, and you will always be where you are right now. To progress, to move towards your goals and dreams, you have to take action. Go out there and put your money where your mouth is, but make sure you are also putting your action where your mouth is. Without that final component, your money will just be wasted.

Having More Follows Becoming More

The late Jim Rohn put it best when he said that in order to have more, you must first become more. Take a look at your goals, what you would like to accomplish, and ask yourself truthfully if you are the kind of person that can get there. What I mean by that is, have you committed to growing into the person you need to be to accomplish those goals? Have you spent the time studying, the hours preparing and planning and have you invested in obtaining the knowledge that is required to get to where you would like to be?

Too often we make goals of accomplishing great things, but we look only at the goal itself and not and who we need to be to accomplish it. Let's use the example of the goal of becoming a millionaire. What are you doing to become a millionaire? I don't just mean having the money. What are you doing to become that type of person? Being a millionaire is not just having a certain amount of money. It is about a mindset, about a work ethic, and about being a certain type of person. Most people that are not millionaires think that it's just about the money, that it's just about having the zero's in the bank account. This brings me to another great quote that Jim Rohn was told by his mentor Mr. Shoaff. He told him, "Set a goal to become a millionaire for what it makes of you to achieve it."

The point of course is that you first must become that which you are trying to achieve. If you want to be a millionaire, you must start thinking and acting like a millionaire. If you want to be a business owner, you need to do the same. You must change your mindset and your actions to be those that match up with where you want to be. This process must start first, before you achieve your goals. It does not happen the other way around. If you think that you will achieve your goals and then magically you will be that person, you are badly mistaken, and you will most likely run into many troubles and possibly never reach them. You must first become; only then will you have.