Be a Rubber Ball - Bouncing Back After Setbacks

Setbacks and disappointments are guaranteed to happen. It's a part of life, especially if you're pushing yourself and striving for bigger accomplishments. It's inevitable. But it's not the fact that they happen that's important, it's what you do when those situations arise that matters. You can let it stop you in your tracks, or you can be like a rubber ball and bounce back. You need to have some "give", some flexibility, in order to be able to bounce back. Just like the rubber ball gives in when it hits the concrete and prepares itself for the launch back up. And that's exactly what can happen with the right mindset and proper redirection after a setback; you can launch yourself to even greater heights. Here are a few thoughts on bouncing back:
  • Get the Lesson - What did you learn from the setback or disappointment? Debrief what went wrong, why and what you can do to avoid a similar mistake in the future. Don't dwell on it. Look back, analyze, adjust and move on.
  • Seek Advise - Talk to people in your field or just other people you trust and who's opinion you respect. Ask them for their take on what happened and listen to their words of wisdom.
  • Know You're Not Alone - Everyone faces setback. Sometimes just knowing you're not the only one going through it can help you push forward.
  • Set Up a Game Plan - Come up with a plan of how you're going to move forward from here. Don't let the setback stop your movement. Come up with a plan to keep going and implement it right away.
We all see the successful side of those who have made it. It's easy to think it came to them without effort and without the hardship and setbacks we face in our businesses. The truth is, those who have succeeded at the highest level are the ones who have failed and faced more setbacks than those who have not. The success is what's highlighted, not the failures, so it's easy to look past that part. As Thomas J. Watson said, "If you want to succeed, double your rate of failure."

Gaining by Eliminating

Ok, I'm taking a page from my mentor's book here, so credit given where it's due this is based on a coaching cd by Greg Pinneo that I recently listened to. S.I.S.E., or "Sh** I Should Eliminate" - what should we remove from our lives to be more effective, to move closer to our goals and grow to live our potential? To live a healthier, more fulfilling life? If you ask people that are very successful, especially those that seem to get more done in a day than seems possible, most of them will tell you that it's not just about what they do that is the key; it's more about what they don't do. Here's few to get you started on thinking about what you should eliminate in your own life. Some are a spin off the cd by Pinneo, and some are my own thoughts.

  • Distractions - We are so distracted in our culture today it's ridiculous. Between the ads we see and hear constantly and the constant "ding" of the 30 different alerts set on our phones, we are almost always distracted in some way. It's so bad we even have a phrase to describe it: Continuous Partial Attention. If you're not acutely aware of your own distractedness, it's very easy to get sucked in. It's all around us. When you're in a state of Continuous Partial Attention, you are never truly focused on the task at hand. You not only get less done, but you're never in the moment. You rob yourself of the full experience of so many great things in life if you're never fully present in anything you do.
  • Vagueness  - Who wants to live a life where at the end you, or anyone else who was around you, couldn't really say what it was you did? What if they couldn't say what you stood for, what you believed in, or what you set out to accomplish? A vague life is a life without direction. Be clear on who you are, what you stand for, what you will not tolerate in your life, and what you want to accomplish. Know what legacy you want to leave. If the picture of what you want is vague, the results will be as well.
  • Negative People - These come in all types, from those who are just "takers" who will never give anything from their end, to those who make you feel less of yourself just from being around them, to those who just have an overall negative attitude, to those who try to shatter your dreams with their own limiting belief of possibility. Here's an easy tip - don't hang around these people. We become like those we hang around. No matter how mentally tough you think you are, if you spend your time around people like this, it will affect your own attitude. Not to mention the fact that many of these types of people are time suckers and will use your time without hesitation or apology - before you know it you've been on the phone with them for 45 minutes, haven't said more than two words on your end, and have just been thrown up on with all of their problems and their negative spin. You know it's true, because it's happened to you before.
  • Shallow Conversation - No more "how's the weather?" talk. Let's talk deeper. Let's talk life, philosophy, goals and aspirations. Let's talk life experiences. When we talk deeper, we build deeper relationships, we challenge our own thoughts, and we become better people.
  • Worry - Worry has no place in your life. Think about it - has worrying about anything, whatever the outcome, ever helped in a situation? Ever? Of course not. Worrying does nothing but cause stress and make you wonder about things that are either out of your control or will never happen. Worry is a mentally draining, time wasting activity that has absolutely zero chance of having a positive return. If you tend to worry, sit down and make a list of all the things you're worried about. Then go through the list. The things you can do something about, do something about it, and the things you can't do anything about, let it go! We can't control the government, we can't control inflation, we can't control whether we get hit by a bus today or whether we're going to get cancer. Sure, we can do things to stay healthy and we can pay attention when we cross the street. But worrying about something that may or may not happen is worthless and has no place in your life. Control what you can, let go of what you can't. Now go make your list; seriously, right now.
  • Apathy - I would go so far as to say this is one of the single biggest problems in our world today. Do not settle for less than what you're capable of. Don't be complacent and stop growing and becoming better. The opposite of apathy is passion. Get involved in whatever you can do with passion and that lights your fire. Then pursue it with everything you've got.
  • Exhaustion - Staying up super late and getting up ridiculously early doesn't make you a martyr for your business; it makes you less effective. You're body can't function without proper sleep. You can actually get more done in less time if you're properly rested. Yes, there are times when you need to grind it out and push through, but if you're living every day of your life without enough sleep, you're asking for your body to crash. And it will. Don't burn yourself out.
Remove these things from your life and you will see a huge increase in the quality of your life, and you'll move much more quickly towards those things which you've set out to accomplish. What other things can you eliminate from your life in order to gain? Eliminate them today and start reaping the rewards.

-Comment, let me know your thoughts and what you need to eliminate on twitter -

Make This Your Year of Change

It's that time again. A year ends and another one begins. Along with it comes setting aside the past, and looking toward the new year with hope and anticipation. "This is going to be the year" everyone tells themselves. Sadly, but the middle of January, most have already given up on what they've set out to change. Don't let that happen to you! Not this time! Here are a few simple pointers to go into 2015 and make progress on your goals and ambitions.

Have Complete Clarity - You can't reach a goal or hit a mark if it's vague. You must be perfectly clear about what you're setting out to accomplish.

Have a "Why" Bigger Than the Goal Itself - Don't just try to hit a number. Know what hitting that number will do for you, your life and those you love. Focus on that reason and you're motivation will continue.

What is Your "One Thing"? - Don't set too many goals! At the beginning of the year, people tend to set a long list of what they want to change. Financial goals, health goals, family goals, and on and on. You want to have goals for every aspect of your life, and you absolutely want to be balanced. However, you can't expect to make progress without focus. Pick the one thing you want to change most first, focus on that, make some new habits around that change, and add something else. Don't overwhelm yourself with too much, or you'll just give up on all of it.

Find Accountability - Ask someone you trust, and who will be honest with you and hold your feet to the fire, to hold you accountable. Tell them exactly what you want to accomplish, by when, and check in with them often with progress reports.

Do Something Every Day - Do something every single day that will make progress towards your biggest goals. It may be something that doesn't even feel like it's moving you much closer at all, but it's the little, daily things added up over time that get you up the mountain. If you do something every day, you'll look back months from now and be shocked at how far you've gone.

Simple, yes. But also effective. It's the little things that make the difference in whether your 2015 will be a year of achieving what you've set out to do, or if you'll be sitting in the same place you are now when you're reflecting on 2015 come January 1st 2016. You get to choose. Make it happen!

Simon Sinek: How Great Leaders Inspire Action Commercial Real Estate