Failure

Failure. The word brings negative thoughts and feelings to the majority of those who think on it. After all, who wants to fail at something? Who wants to try, to give their effort and their heart, and not succeed? Who wants to look like they don't know what they're doing or take a hit to their self esteem? But, if you're going to achieve anything significant, you need to get past these feelings and shift how you feel about failure.

One of my mentors has a great philosophy he shares of "success upon delivery", meaning that your definition of success should not be rooted in whether or not someone accepts your proposal. The outcome is not a factor in whether you have succeeded or not. The fact that you delivered your message, you did what you showed up to do, is what matters. Why this is so important, especially in a sales or business environment, is because it takes the power away from the person you are making the proposition to and puts it fully in your hands. You can do your best, learn negotiation and sales skills and so forth, but the other person is still ultimately in control of their decision, not you. If success or failure depends on their acceptance or rejection, you're never really in control of whether you succeed or not. Not only that, but with this change in perspective, since winning is just delivering the message and asking the question, you succeed every time you do that. Think about how much of an impact that can make on your outlook and your attitude throughout the day. If all you get all day is "no", you still succeeded because you followed through on your end and you asked the question. If your definition of success is someone saying "yes", you'll be getting beaten down all day long and by the end of the day you'll be feeling completely drained instead of energized and positive.

Failure is also a learning experience. We figure out what doesn't work, and we can change our approach and be better next time. Without failure and the feedback we receive from it, we can't make those necessary adjustments to become better at our craft. Failure is a key component of becoming more successful and learning what to do, and not to do, in the future. The important part is that you need to take the time to reflect on the failure so you can take the lesson from it. Don't dwell on it. But do analyze what happened, figure out how to avoid it in the future, make the adjustment and move on.

Let's face it, if you're not failing at something, you're not trying very hard. You're also not doing anything that stretches your ability. Anything worthwhile is worth doing poorly at first, until you learn from experience; and you can't learn from experience unless you jump in and try it, knowing you'll probably mess up at some point! We're all human and we all make mistakes. You can't live life in fear of failing, or you'll never try anything new.

Challenge your thinking and your relationship with failure. Do you see it as a positive or a negative? If most of your thoughts and feelings are on the negative side, work at shifting to more positive ideas around the word. Remember the "success upon delivery" formula, and that half the battle is just getting out there and taking action. The more you try, the more you fail, and the more you ultimately will succeed. Get out there and fail a bunch, learn, adjust and move forward with confidence.